


Little White Lies

by robotrolecall



Series: The Three Fanfics Cornetto Trilogy [1]
Category: Shaun of the Dead, The Cornetto Trilogy
Genre: AU Where Ed Survives Z-Day, Childhood Friends, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Confessions, Cuddling, Cute, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Relationship, Feel-good, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Gaming, Humor, Kissing, Liz is gay and has a gf, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Homo, Pete no longer lives with Shaun and Ed he fucked off somewhere else, Pining, Snuggling, Swearing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Truth or Dare, curse words, guys being dudes, healthy relationship, lots of flirting, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-23 23:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20016640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robotrolecall/pseuds/robotrolecall
Summary: Ed begins to drop hints that he’s interested in Shaun. Perhaps a friendly match in a fighting game will surely prove it...





	1. Buttercup

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter title named after “Buttercup” by Jack Stauber.

Seven forty-five in the morning. Cans of beer and an entire box’s worth of Cornetto wrappers were scattered across the floor and coffee table. The television was on, buzzing with static. Upon the couch was Shaun Riley, an appliance salesman, and his flatmate Ed, now employed at a video game store. Ed was sprawled on the couch, his arm and leg hanging off it. Atop Ed was Shaun, sleeping as if his bigger friend was his own mattress. One would think they had a wild night of drinking, but in reality, they spent the whole night watching slasher films. 

Shaun opened his eyes slowly, noticing he fell asleep atop of Ed. He sighed deeply, raising his head from Ed’s bosom. He needed to pee, but he also didn’t want to get up. A first world problem, indeed. He enjoyed snuggling up to Ed and saw him as a big cuddly toy. This, of course was done as _‘bros,’_ or at least in the minds of Shaun and Ed. The apartment was a bit on the smaller side, so Ed volunteered to sleep on the couch. Sometimes Ed would take custody of Shaun’s mattress, to which the two childhood friends would huddle up for a nap or two. They used to pull all nighters all the time, but progressively did them less after Ed became employed. But whenever they did, they’d fall asleep on top of one another, forgetting what brought them there in the first place. 

“Ed,” he whispered quietly, nudging him. Ed was still asleep, snoring slightly.

_“Ed!”_ hissed Shaun.

“I have to get up for a sec.” 

“No, don’t get up,” Ed muttered groggily, stretching his free arm. 

“Stay here. I wanna hug you some more.” 

Shaun laughed softly. “Don’t you have work today? Shouldn’t you be awake soon?” 

“Babe,” Ed slurred. 

“I’m off today.” 

Shaun slowly ran his hand through Ed’s hair. He was expecting it to be greasy, but it felt clean, soft, and incredibly fluffy. Ever since he got a job, about three months ago, he began to take his personal hygiene seriously. This was something Shaun wasn’t entirely used to, but was happy nonetheless. Mesmerized by Ed’s hair, he absentmindedly continued to play with it until he remembered  _ why _ he was going to get up. 

“I’ll come back. Just have to take a piss.” The strawberry blond rolled off his shorter and stockier friend and staggered his way to the restroom, yawning loudly. 

He creaked open the door. The half asleep Edward heard a stream of liquid fall into the toilet bowl. He giggled as he moved himself to lay on his side at the edge of the couch. 

“You might wanna close the door when you take a piss, Shaun!” He attempted to yell. 

“Oh,  _ fuck off  _ Ed!” he poked his head out, hollering playfully. 

He realized that his voice was a bit louder than it should’ve been and shut his eyes tightly, wincing as he prepared for a neighbor to complain. He quickly moved his head back and finished peeing. After flushing the toilet, Shaun pumped a blob of antibacterial soap into his right palm as he turned on the sink faucet with his left hand. He scrubbed his hands rigorously under the running water. It was freezing. He winced as he felt his fingertips grow cold. 

“Jesus,” he groaned, with gritted teeth. 

He shut off the faucet and dried his hands on his tee shirt. He noticed numerous types of toiletries lining the shower. He had no recollection of purchasing them. He walked back to the couch, kicking the stray beer cans on the floor with his bare feet. 

_ I’ll clean this up later,  _ he thought to himself.

“Welcome back,” Ed greeted. 

“I’m glad to be back.” Shaun said as he situated himself back onto the couch. 

Ed wrapped his arms around Shaun’s waist and squeezed him, delicately rubbing his nose against his cheek. Shaun felt his roommate’s stubble brush up against his face and began to laugh again. 

“You’re so cute when you laugh, Shaun.” Ed murmured into his ear. 

“Mmmm,” Shaun felt himself grow drowsy as Ed spooned him. He  suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Nausea filled his stomach.

“Hey, Shaun?” He asked, his voice a higher pitch than normal.

“Yeah?” 

“I just… I just remembered that I would call you  _ ‘gay’ _ sometimes. I feel bad for it now and I want to apologize.” He sucked in a breath. 

“I think the fact we’re close the way we are now made me realize how insensitive those comments were.” There was a pause. The frown on Ed’s round face transformed into a light smile. 

“Still won’t stop me from calling you a cunt whenever you eat the last Cornetto in the fridge.”

Shaun’s voice broke into laughter at his quip. He appreciated how Ed was comfortable talking to him about serious things, and also his ability to lighten up the mood.

“Don’t even worry about it.”

“You’re my best friend, Shaun. And this is what best friends do, isn’t it?” Ed held Shaun a bit more closely. 

“Of course.”

Ed felt his lower lip quiver, yearning to spurt out words he meant to say over two years ago—on the infamous “Z-Day” when an infection plagued London, turning commoners into flesh-eating zombies.

“Cheers,” he managed to choke out.

He felt disappointed in himself. Those weren’t the words he wanted to say. Ed deliberately planned to take off today so they could spend time together and drop the big confession _._ He wondered if he would ever declare his love to Shaun, and that the only chance he had to was squandered.His momentary lapse of sadness passed as Shaun wriggled out of Ed’s grip, and turned himself to face him. Despite Ed’s shortcomings, Shaun cared for him deeply. Whenever they watch TV he can't help but observe him closely, paying attention to his facial expressions as he reacts to whatever is on the screen. He cupped his hands on Ed’s face, pulling him inward, their foreheads touching. 

“You really cut me to size,” he said, with a fatigued but warm-hearted smile. 

“Let’s go back to sleep.”


	2. Three Cups of Tea

“ _Fuck!_ I _do_ have work today!” Ed yelled, his eyes quickly opening. Shaun jumped, gasping in shock as his deep slumber was quickly disrupted. 

“Jesus fucking _Christ_ , you scared the shit outta me!” Shaun wheezed as he hurled a handful of more obscenities. Ed looked at his watch. He had forgotten to take it off the night before. 

“It’s almost noon, fucking hell!” Shaun got up and moved out of the way as Ed dashed to the bathroom. 

“Just pick out a shirt and some shorts for me!” His voice echoed as he slammed the bathroom door. Shaun crossed his arms and snickered. 

“Oh Ed, I don’t know what to do with you sometimes…” He heard the shower run as he entered his bedroom. He pulled out the bottom drawer, which contained Ed’s clothes. He plucked some shirt that had the Solo Jazz pattern on it, beige cargo shorts, and red boxer briefs. He pushed the drawer shut and left the room, knocking on the bathroom door with the back of his fist. 

“Ed! I got your clothes ready.”

“Gimme a minute,” Ed responded. Shaun heard Ed turn off the shower, and assumed he was done. Shortly after, his friend creaked the door open. His lower body was draped in a towel. 

“You look refreshed.” Shaun commented cheerfully, lending Ed his clothes. 

“Decided not to shave your chest then, hm?” He sniggered. 

Ed scoffed, cradling the clothing in his right arm. “I said I would shave my chest while I was out of this fuckin’ planet after eating two weed brownies. That was 6 months ago!”

“Let’s keep it that way then,” Shaun winked. Flustered, Ed laughed as he nervously ran his left hand through his wet hair. 

“You’re such a goddamn cock-tease, Shaun. Never change.” He closed the door, merely leaving it askew, and immediately prepared for work. Shaun went to the kitchen, boiling a kettle to make tea, waiting for Ed to exit the bathroom.

He still needed to shower, but Ed getting to work as soon as possible was top priority. Shaun’s ears were quickly drawn by the sound of knocking on the front door. A bit perplexed that someone would be knocking at an unexpected time, he took a quick glance through the peephole. It was a lady with short blonde hair, eyeliner, and a contagious, trusting smile on her face. Shaun unlocked the door and let the young lady in. 

“Hi, Shaun!” She said.

“Liz, it’s great to see you. How are things?” Shaun greeted. 

“Things have been pretty great, thank you for asking.” 

Shaun opened the door a bit wider and gestured for Liz to come in.

“I’m actually making tea if you want some. Sorry if I look like I had a night of drinking. Passed out on the couch from excessive movie watching.” He scratched the back of his head, embarrassed. 

“Did I come at a bad time?” She asked as she closed the door behind her. 

“Liz, please just have a seat. Don’t worry.” He said calmly. He heard the hissing of the tea kettle, signifying that the water was boiling hot. 

“How many sugars?” He queried as he placed two tea bags into separate mugs. 

“Two is fine. Put a splash of milk in mine as well.”

“Got it.”

Shaun poured the piping hot liquid into the cups, letting the tea bags steeping commence. He placed the kettle on the stovetop to cool. As he was about to open the fridge, he heard Liz go into a fit of coughing. 

“Liz, are you alright?”

“Jesus—Christ!” She said between coughs. _“The fuck is that—smell?”_ Shaun took a deep breath.

“What smell?” He raised a brow. 

“It smells like a bloody grade school locker room!”

“Like, B.O.?”

“She’s talking about me.” Ed stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed and squeaky clean. He approached the two ex-lovers. 

“What about him?” Shaun’s voice lowered. 

“It’s ‘cuz I use AXE and Old Spice!” Ed lifted his hands up dramatically. 

“Ohhhh! That’s what was in the bathroom then.” Shaun said in realization. 

“It’s like he sprays a whole can’s worth of AXE!” Liz interjected. 

“But… it’s a hell of a lot better than the flat smelling like stinky socks.”

“Thank you, Liz. I try to stay well coiffed.”

“Well, it’s a start.” She responded playfully. 

“Can you pour me some tea before I go to work, Shaun?” Ed asked, pulling a chair out and sitting himself on it. 

“Give me some sugar.” He added on, smirking. 

Shaun felt his throat rumble in laughter. 

“Sure baby, I’ll give you some alright. Cheeky fucker.” As Shaun was preparing Liz and Ed’s cup of tea, neglecting his own, Liz laughed joyfully at the flatmates’ banter.

“The two of you act like you’re boyfriends. Married, even!”

Ed rolled his eyes. 

“Pfft, we’re not _married._ ” 

“Or boyfriends.” Shaun said, carrying cups of tea to the table. 

“Just ‘cuz we live together, it doesn’t mean we’re dating!” Ed, without pulling out the tea bag, took a large swig of the drink. 

_“Fuck!”_ He yelped. 

“I burnt my tongue.”

“Ed, you have to let it cool off before drinking it.” Shaun said exasperatedly. 

“Sorry, but I’m in a bit of a rush to work.”

“Wait—before you go, I have to tell the both of you something,” Liz announced, placing the tea bag onto a napkin. 

“My girlfriend is moving in with me in a week from today. I’m hosting a surprise party for her!” Liz declared ecstatically. 

“That’s wonderful, Liz!” Shaun said as he placed two cubes of sugar into his tea. 

“We’ll be there for sure,” Ed replied curtly. 

“What does she like? I want to buy her a gift!”

“That’s what I was gonna say! I wanted you guys to bring presents. It doesn’t have to be anything big.” Liz added humbly. 

Shaun nodded as he drank from his mug and put up an okay signal. 

Ed walked to the sink and dumped the remaining tea into the drain. There was only a bit left in the glass. Shaun assumed that Ed drank the tea while it was still scalding, and shook his head as he smiled like an idiot. Liz exited her seat carrying a napkin and coffee mug. She threw out the napkin, which held the tea bag, and placed the mug carefully into the sink. 

“It’s about time I got going now,” she said hastily. “I have to go to the bakery to pick out a cake for the party. See you guys soon!” She waved goodbye as she exited the door. 

“Bye, Liz! Congratulations!” Ed and Shaun said in unison. 

As Shaun went up to lock the door, Ed placed both hands under his chin. “So,” he began.

“About Liz.”

Shaun’s eyes widened.

“What about her?” He blinked. 

“Do you still love her?”

Shaun squinted his eyes in confusion, raising his hands as he tried to find a correlation between Ed’s question and Liz’s visit. 

“I haven’t had feelings for her since we broke up, which was over two years ago! And plus, she’s a _lesbian!_ She came out a year ago. We were there at her coming out party!”

“...Right.” Ed said straightforwardly. 

“Why were you so curious?”

Ed hesitated, avoiding eye contact with Shaun. 

“No reason.” He was lying again. He wanted to know if Shaun was interested in pursuing another relationship, hopefully with him.

“Well, I gotta get going to work. I’ll see you in a few hours, Shaun.” Ed said abruptly going to the door. 

Shaun followed him and smacked Ed’s ass. 

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.” Ed tittered. 

“You won’t catch me doing anything, baby.” He slid his hand onto Ed’s palm, his fingertips sending a chill down the shorter man’s spine. His voice was low and slightly hoarse. He desperately needed to have something to drink. 

“You forgot your phone.”

“Thanks.” He flashed a toothy grin as he left the household. His job was walking distance. Shaun felt his cheeks grow hot as he watched Shaun walk away. There was something about Ed’s smile that made him feel like he was on top of the world. 

_I’ll be here waiting for you. Always._


	3. The Amazing Cube

Forty-five minutes after Ed left to work, Shaun was relaxing on the couch once again. He had taken a shower and was going to put on some pajamas, but decided to wear his work clothes—a white short-sleeved dress shirt, red tie, and black slacks. He had read somewhere that changing into a fresh outfit would boost one’s mood. It did make him feel a bit more energized, so he was pleased with the outcome. He had tidied up the living room and threw away the empty cans and wrappers that were leftover from the night before. Just as he was about to flip on the television, he heard the front door slam open. He turned to the direction of the noise and saw Ed, holding a box.

“Shaun!” He greeted. 

“Ed… _please_ don’t tell me you got fired.” Shaun murmured fearfully, rubbing his temples. 

“ _Fired?_ The fuck’re you talking about?” 

“You said you were late to work, Ed!”

“I was lying.”

Shaun’s worried look was replaced with annoyance. His eyebrows furrowed as he pouted, crossing his arms around his chest. Ed happily walked towards Shaun, placing the cardboard box on the coffee table. 

“You’ll never guess what I got,” he said, completely oblivious to Shaun’s frustration. He lifted the flaps on the box open, revealing a video game console. 

“You’re gonna love it.” 

Shaun’s irritated demeanor softened as Ed removed the console. 

“A Nintendo GameCube! How did you get that?” He asked, in awe. 

“Got it from my job. It was on display.” Shaun blinked, his mouth agape. 

“You fucking _stole_ it?” He yelled. 

“No, I didn’t _steal_ it! Be quiet, or else the neighbors are gonna be up our asses!” Ed shushed him. 

“I went to my job to buy it for us—mean, for you.” Ed said shyly, his hands behind his arms as he swayed back and forth. His hazel eyes locked with Shaun’s. He just couldn’t stay mad at him with puppy eyes like his. Shaun’s astonishment softened.

“You’re too sweet, Ed. You always have been. That’s one thing that’s remained the same about you since we first met.” Shaun said fondly. 

“That’s one thing I won’t ever change, Riley. I can promise you that.” Ed responded as he pulled the GameCube and two controllers out of the box. There was a much thinner, but smaller rectangular plastic box that remained inside the cardboard.

“What game did you buy?”

Ed had a mischievous look on his face. He slowly lowered his hand into the box, pulling out a video game with numerous familiar faces. 

“You got _Super Smash Bros. Melee?_ I heard Ness is in it!” Shaun vocalized joyfully.

“He’s from _EarthBound_ , my favorite video game, next to _Zombies Ate My Neighbors._ ” 

“I was always a _Chrono Trigger_ kind of guy. It would be great if Crono was in the game! Maybe in the next installment. I’ll take him over that pretty boy Marth any day.” Ed scoffed as he tossed the cardboard box aside. It landed on the carpet with a faint thud. 

“But you’re in luck, though. All characters and stages are unlocked!” 

“Son of a bitch…” Shaun breathed. Ed carried the console and it’s peripherals to the back of their decently sized CRT television. He sat cross-legged as he attempted to make sense of the yarn ball of cords. 

“Don’t just stand there,” he said, fiddling with his hands as he plugged the AV cables to the back of the TV. 

“Help me hook this up to the TV! You work in appliances, you know how these things work.”

Shaun slapped himself in the face, slowly dragging his hand down to his chin. 

“It’s AV cables for fuck’s sake, not a goddamn _fridge!_ You seriously don’t know where they go?” He walked behind the TV, knelt on the carpet, and pointed to three ports. Ed blinked cluelessly. Shaun groaned and opened and closed his hand repeatedly, gesturing for Ed to hand him the cords. He dropped the red, yellow, and white wires into Shaun’s palm. 

“Watch closely. You just put the cords into the jacks that share the same color.” 

“Oh, I know how to put them in. I just wanted you to do it because it’s cute when you show your knowledge and skills in appliances.” Ed clarified. Shaun felt his ears warm up as he inserted the final AV cable into the jack. He really didn’t talk about his job or think it was of any importance.

“C’mon, Ed… you don’t have to say that.” He whined self-consciously, nervously nibbling at his nails. Ed placed a sympathetic hand onto Shaun’s shoulder. 

“What’s there to be ashamed of?” Shaun couldn’t think of a reason. “Everyone needs refrigerators and dishwashers and washing machines. You’re providing people with those things. And I think you’re doing a great job at that.” Shaun lifted his arm to squeeze Ed’s cheek. 

“Don’t get all sentimental on me.”

“You forgot this,” he continued talking, this time in a low, raspy, almost flirty voice. 

“Hm?” Shaun raised a brow. He genuinely didn’t know what they could’ve forgotten in the set up process. Ed mischievously reached for his back pocket. 

“What in the bloody _fuck_ are you pulling out of your pocket? We are _not_ filling up condoms with pudding again!” Shaun declared distastefully, shaking his head and waggling his index finger disapprovingly.

“It’s not that, unfortunately.” Ed said, disheartened. “It’s a memory card for the GameCube.”

“Oh. _Duh._ ”


	4. Challenger Approaching

“There’s something about the intro segment to this game that gives me the chills,” Shaun uttered, wide-eyed as the intro animation to Melee wrapped up. 

“I’m mesmerized by it.” 

“I think it’s because it’s the first time we, the players, have seen these characters in 3D.” Ed said with an air of confidence. He was incredibly knowledgeable in video games and had a soft spot for Nintendo console systems. He pressed the ’A’ button on the controller, leading to the main screen of the game. It featured different options of play, single and multiplayer, along with a feature that displays in-game collectibles known as trophies. Ed flicked the control stick down, moving to the multiplayer category and selected it. 

“What do you wanna do?” He asked. 

“No items, three stock match would be nice.” Shaun said. When they were in grade school, Ed and Shaun would play the Nintendo 64 iteration of _Super Smash Bros._ with the same exact rules. Ed was very technical and had strategies using his former main, Captain Falcon, while Shaun was more trigger-happy, spamming PK Fire and unsuccessfully attempting to use Ness’s recovery move, PK Thunder. 

“Sounds good to me. You picking Ness?” Ed giggled upon hearing Shaun’s secure choice.

“No shit, Sherlock. Why’d you ask?”

“I don’t think that would be a wise choice.” He teased.

“...What are you implying, Ed?” Shaun pressed.

“You implying that Ness is shit in this game?”

“Mmmaybe.” Ed snorted. Shaun rolled his eyes as he placed the controller onto the coffee table.

“He can’t be that awful, Ed. And why are you choosing Marth? You were just ragging on him for being a ‘pretty boy.’” Shaun called out his friend’s hypocrisy. 

“He’s my main, Shaun!” He exclaimed, taking offense to his comment. 

“Fair enough.”

* * *

“Wow. Ness really _is_ shit.” Shaun said, leaning back on the couch. He was eviscerated by Ed in a match on the stage known as Poké Floats, in which the stage scrolls automatically and the players must fight on platforms on giant Pokémon parade balloons. 

“I told you so!”

“He’s absolute ass fighting on terrain! But I feel obligated to commit to my main...” Shaun placed his hands on the back of his head as he heaved a sigh of defeat. 

“Then get good.” Ed jeered. “But in all seriousness, try to be more of an aerial attacker with Ness. That’s his strong suit. PK Thunder still can be intercepted, so you’re still kinda fucked.”

“Thanks for the tip.” He said graciously.

“It’s the least I can do. It’s a good thing you don’t spam his side special and finally know how to recover using his up special.”

“Oh, fuck you Ed! I like to think I’m decent at this game.” Shaun swore, as he gave a fun-loving jab to Ed’s shoulder. The victor blew a raspberry and exuberantly flipped the bird. Ed took incredible pride in his skills. They both broke into laughter as they fooled around. 

“How do you know all these… these techniques off the back of your head? I just call them ‘side B’ and ‘neutral B.’” Shaun was wholeheartedly curious. 

“It’s not that technical, mate. It’s just competitive lingo.” Ed elucidated. Shaun bobbed his head in understanding. He still wanted to know more, though.

“But how do you know so much about competitive play in _Melee?_ During our match you were explaining your combos so effortlessly, and all your inputs matched up with them! How did you do that?” 

“I’ve gone to _Melee_ tournaments around here. I just observe and pay attention to what the commentators are saying.” Ed’s replies were candid, a huge contrast to his argumentative nature. Shaun scratched his head. 

“Tournaments? Since when?” He pressed onward.

“Since the game first came out in Europe, May 2002.” Shaun, in astonishment, cupped his hands around his mouth, his eyes moving to his right side, where Ed was sitting. 

“Is that why you were out of the house for at least one day a week?” He asked, his voice muffled as he tried to process this news. He couldn’t believe how versatile Ed was at _Melee,_ let alone at his own favorites like _TimeSplitters 2._

“Yeah, I told you didn’t I?” Shaun’s eye twitched following Ed’s answer. 

“Ed, you told me you were _dealing weed to people!_ ” He yowled, completely forgetting that they lived in an apartment and not alone. Remembering this, he concealed his mouth with a pillow. 

“I _did!_ And after I got the money I attended tournaments!” Shaun suddenly had the suspicion that Ed did not disclose this out of shame. Ed’s tone was very defensive, as if he had to justify leaving the house to partake in his personal interests. The light-haired man threw the pillow aside and turned his torso to look at Ed. He placed a benign hand onto his shoulder and gently rubbed it. Ed was panting slightly, visibly worked up. 

“Are you mad at me, Shaun?” Ed uttered sullenly, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Of course _not._ You don’t have to hide those kinds of things from me, Ed.” He said earnestly. His voice was level-headed and smooth, completely understanding and non-judgmental. 

“I thought you would’ve laughed at me if I told you where else I went in those days.” Shaun stopped consoling Ed and leaned in for a hug.

“We’ve known one another since we were kids. You never have to conceal anything from me.” Hearing that Ed could speak to Shaun about anything brought solace to him, and clutched his crush firmly. He felt more confident in telling Shaun his romantic feelings for him. But how would he tell him? He didn’t want to be dramatic and go down the “Can I talk to you about something?” road. He then felt a bolt of energy fly through this body. He had an idea. 

_“Shaun.”_ His voice was quick-witted. 

“What’s up? You okay now?” He let go of Ed and grabbed ahold of his two hands. They were looking at each other now. Shaun was incredibly in tune with how fast Ed was able to feel better after any conflict. 

“To spice things up, how about we play some friendly matches?” He had a prankish smile on his face, his front teeth slightly bearing. Shaun quickly looked away, attempting to hide his flushed face. 

“Oy, what’s wrong with my smile?” Ed digressed as he held Shaun’s hands tightly. 

“Nothing, Ed. Your teeth and smiles are the most charming thing in the world.” Ed laughed out loud. 

“I guess that’s a ‘yes’ for the friendlies?”

“Yeah, but I thought we were doing that this whole time?” Shaun was a bit puzzled. 

“The difference is that we have to play truth or dare after each match! The loser will have to tell one truth or do a dare, and the winner decides which.” Ed recounted with confidence. 

“Sounds good to me. The last match we just did doesn’t count, right?” Shaun wondered. 

“Nah, that would’ve been unfair,” Ed got up from the couch and into the kitchen. 

“What’re you getting?” 

“A bag of crisps. Can’t play games on an empty stomach!” Ed’s voice echoed. Shaun sighed contentedly, leaning his cheek on his fist. 

“I don’t know where I’d be without you, Ed…”


	5. Love Language

“Let’s begin,” the thirty-one year old stated, shoving a fist full of potato chips down his maw. “We’re playing on Final Destination only, no items, three stocks.” 

“A stage without hazards…” Shaun commented contemplatively, rubbing his chin with an unobstructed hand. 

“I like to play fair, Shaun. What do you want me to do, play _dirty?”_ Ed remarked snidely, elongating the ‘y’ sound. This caused Shaun’s eyes to move away as he became discombobulated. He was in awe at how he could come up with flirty comments at the drop of a dime. And he loved every second of it. 

“Don’t be fucking daft!” Shaun bellowed. “Let’s just start the match. Same characters?” Ed bowed his head as he started the match. 

“You know it.” 

The first match was a strong start for Shaun. Following Ed’s advice he was able to pummel Marth using Ness’s aerials. He almost took Ed’s first stock, but failed after a calculated use of Marth’s recovery, the Dolphin Slash. As the buttons and joysticks cracked and mashed with excessive use, Shaun felt sweat beading on his face. 

“You’re a fast learner,” Ed complimented his opponent. 

“You’re pretty good yourself. I feel like I might just run out of compliments to gi—What the absolute _fuck_ was that?” His anger was backed up by a caterwaul of howling.

Shaun lost his first stock after Ness was unable to recover to the right ledge of the purple and black platform. 

“That’s called a footstool, my friend. It’s when a character steps on the other’s head as they try to recover, cancelling it out. It’s an uncommon feat, but it’s very rewarding.” Ed waggled the control stick which caused Marth to rigorously move left and right in a short distance—dash dancing. 

As Ness respawned Shaun wondered what would he have to do if he lost the match. His mind focused on the “truth” portion. He was put off by the possibility of being asked a second time if he still loves Liz. He truly no longer had feelings for her, and the first time Ed asked him if he did it made him realize that he was in love with him more than anyone else. Even though his past relationship with Liz was fulfilling and healthy, his feelings for Ed couldn’t be masked.

Immersed in his thoughts, his combatant’s character landed a neutral attack that segued into a dash attack, slashing Marth’s sword, the Falchion, diagonally. Right as he attempted to fight back, Ed implemented Marth’s counter, launching Ness off the stage. Realizing what had occurred, Shaun frantically tried to enforce PK Thunder, but heavily overshot. Once again, Ness fell into the bottomless pit, costing Shaun another stock. 

“You were close!” Ed said, his voice layered in encouragement. Although he was ruthless in video games, he still remained down-to-earth, albeit his typical quips. Ness, down to his last stock, respawned again. This time Shaun wasn’t playing around. He used PK Fire, stunning Marth. He then approached the swordsman and using the GameCube controller’s Z button, grabbed Ed’s character, following through with Ness’s forward throw. Seeing Marth be hurled across the stage exhilarated Shaun. He leapt up from the couch, still holding his controller. 

_“Yes! Yes! I got you!”_ He declared proudly.

“Don’t have a premature victory yet,” Ed advised.

“Look!” Ed was able to recover back to the ledge with no problem. 

“God fucking _damn_ it!” Shaun grumbled, sitting on the couch again, his confidence dampened. Because Marth was at a high percentage, Shaun had the seemingly diabolical idea of KOing him using Ness’s neutral B, PK Flash. Shaun tilted the control stick to the left, moving the young psychic to the left side of the stage. As Ed followed him Shaun pressed the B button, and jostled the control stick to maneuver the plasma green beam of light to hit Marth. Shaun tragically overestimated its range, and missed completely.

This gave Ed an opening to start a chaingrab, spamming Marth’s down throw, causing Ness to be caught in an endless loop. A sadistic laugh was coming out of Ed as Shaun struggled to free Ness from being pummeled by an effeminate anime boy. The strategic _Melee_ player then used Dragon Killer, Marth’s forward smash, to launch Ness off the stage, taking his final stock with it. Ed once again was victorious. Shaun dropped his controller into his lap as Marth’s victory screen plastered the television.

“That was insane.” He mouthed, wiping sweat on his face with the back of his hand. 

“Good game.” Ed held his hand up in a fist, waiting for a fist bump. A bug-eyed Shawn completed the other half. 

“What do you want me to do?” Shaun requested. Ed scratched his chin as he began to brainstorm. 

“Oh, I got it!” The winner snapped his fingers.

“I dare you to speak Spanish. The last time you ever uttered a word in that language was in grade eleven.” Shaun was eased by the fact that Ed chose a lenient dare. 

“Alright. Give me a second to remember.” He said, clasping his hands together. After a minute, Shaun cleared his throat. 

_“Eres mi mejor amigo.”_ He said. His Spanish was very broken, and did not have a prevalent accent while speaking. He sounded incredibly white, for lack of a better word. 

“Not bad! What did you say in Spanish?” Ed twinkled.

“You don’t have to lie to me, Ed. If I went to Puerto Rico or some other Spanish speaking country, I’d be a laughing stock!” Shaun self depreciated. 

“And I said that you’re my best friend.” Shaun added. Ed felt his heart flutter. 

“You’re too nice to me,” he placed an arm around Shaun’s lower body. 

“And I’m also speaking the truth! I’ll tell you what, I’ll speak some French for you. I’m not the greatest French speaker either, and I’ve _been_ to France!” Shaun’s shame was replaced with appreciation. He cherished Ed’s endeavors to make him feel more comfortable, along with his appreciation of the small things. Shaun had an idea of what exactly to say. He put down his controller, and looked at Shaun dead in the eyes.

 _“Je passerais ma vie avec toi, Shaun.”_ Like Shaun’s Spanish speaking skills, Ed’s French was pretty flawed. He pronounced the ‘s’ at the end of “passerais” even though the verb is not in front of a word that begins with a vowel. Shaun’s eyes sparkled, blown away by Ed’s basic knowledge of a foreign language. 

“That was incredible… what does that mean?” 

“I said that you were fantastic,” he fibbed. What he actually told Shaun was that he wanted to spend his life with him. He was inching closer and closer to declaring his feelings for Shaun. He reached for his flip phone that was residing on the table. 

“Want me to order pizza? We can begin the next match after we eat.” 

“Sure thing! We can chip in on the bill.” Shaun accepted, taking note of how famished he was. It was only two in the afternoon at this point. It was high time to have some lunch. 

“Great!” Ed opened his cellular device, dialed the number to the local pizzeria, and eagerly waited to place an order. 


	6. Spilt Milk

“I’ve always noticed how I eat more garlic knots than I do pizza slices,” Ed remarked as he cracked open a can of Coke. 

“How about you?”

“I’m the complete opposite,” Shaun replied as he finished his fourth slice of pizza. 

“Let’s save the rest for tomorrow. Could bring some slices to work.” He wiped his hands and face with a napkin, and passed a few clean ones to Ed.

“Before we get back to playing  _ Smash, _ let’s wash up,” Ed advised. 

“Huh! Usually I’m the one suggesting that. How the tables have turned.”

“You wouldn’t wanna play any video game with a greasy controller.” Ed warned as he approached the kitchen sink to wash his hands. 

“Says the one who used to play  _ TimeSplitters 2 _ with Cheeto fingers!” Shaun gaffed as he dumped his and Ed’s food scrap contained paper plates into the bin. Ed slowly flipped off Shaun as tap water dripped from his digits. He ripped off a square of paper towel on the right side of the sink and dried his hands. 

“C’mere, love,” he joshed. 

“Keeping up the courting, hm?” Shaun stood next to Ed, dropping dish soap onto his hands. 

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” Ed’s attitude quickly changed to a remorseful one. 

“Not at all. I love it.” Shaun answered frankly as he lathered the soap. 

“Okay, good.” Ed sighed in relief, swaddling him. As Shaun rinsed his hands his love interest let go of him and walked back to the couch, grasping the iconic purple controller in his hand. 

“Wait for me!” Shaun called out, wiping his hands on his black pants. The twenty-nine year old jumped onto the couch, plucking the controller. 

“Do you mind if I move a little?” He asked.

“Don’t see why not.” Ed commented as he approached the stage select screen in  _ Melee.  _ Shaun. He raised his legs up to sit cross-legged on the couch, his back facing Ed. He then lowered himself onto Ed’s lap. 

“You comfortable laying like that?” His eyes broadened. 

“I can turn my neck to see the screen.” Ed fluffed Shaun’s golden hair. It felt bunched together with hair gel, but he didn’t care. 

“Let’s play.” 

The second match started strong with Ed taking the first stock, using the PAL-exclusive  _ Thundercats _ finisher: ending a combo with Marth’s up smash. 

“The position he’s in is very reminiscent of the  _ Thundercats _ television series,” Ed described. Shaun squinted, thinking deeply. He suddenly gasped lightly as he made the connection. 

“That was my exact reaction when I found out, too!” His voice was enthusiastic as he dash-danced again. This was interrupted by Shaun implementing Ness’s dash attack hurling Marth into the air. 

“Heads up!” Shaun kicked his legs up into the air in excitement. Ed’s face scrunched up as he attempted to set up his recovery by using Marth’s neutral aerial attack. He followed through with the Dolphin Slash, but was still far off from the ledge. Marth plunged to his doom. 

“You  _ twat! _ ” Ed cursed. Echoing Ed’s joke from the first match, Shaun blew a raspberry and flipped him off. Trying not to be distracted, Ed spiritedly shoved Shaun’s hand back down. 

“You can save your bragging for later, Shaun. You still have two more stocks to get down.” The edges of his lips curled in a smile as Marth grabbed Ness, attempting to do another chaingrab. This time, Shaun was able to break free from it by noticing an opening that was caused by Ed’s delays in his button mashing. 

“You’ve caught on quick, huh?” He exhaled. 

“Like hell I have.” Shaun attempted to use PK Flash, but missed once again. 

“You’re spamming  _ again? _ ” Ed roared. 

“Old habits die hard.” The man sitting up noticed that Shaun seemed less skittish playing Melee after getting into a comfortable position. He had no intention of telling him to move. 

Ed unfortunately lost another stock after pressing the wrong button, which led to Marth self-destructing. 

“Fuckin’ hell,” he growled.

_ “My hand slipped!”  _

“No worries. I’ll take a stock, it’s only fair.” Shaun offered happily. He deliberately threw Ness to the pit of Final Destination, leaving him with two stocks and Ed with one stock remaining. Shaun started at Ed lovingly, his face incredibly focused as he dash-danced, waiting for Shaun’s avatar to respawn. He just wanted to lift his head up and kiss him. 

Ed’s tongue was partially sticking out as he shifted into his ‘zone.’ His Marth combos were tight and crisp. Shaun, on the other hand, still had a sporadic play style and still avoided attacking on the ground. He finally implemented Ness’s down smash attack, tossing Marth into the air to the right side of the stage. As Ed tried to recover Marth back onto the stage, Ness hopped and pulled off an aerial, thwarting the dueler and sending him back. He was still was at a close altitude to recover once more, but tragically was throttled a second time. The blue-haired man nosedived out of bounds, costing Ed his third and final stock. 

_“I won!”_ Shaun lunged a fist into the air, delighted. 

“Do you realize what you just did, Shaun? You edge-guarded without even knowing it! I’m not even mad that I lost, I’m _ecstatic_ that you pulled off a competitive strategy!” Ed rapidly ruffled the champion’s hair. 

“Thanks, Ed.” Shaun’s face reddened as he thought of something for his friend to do. He remembered something that was in the refrigerator.

“Also: I dare you to drink the rest of the milk in the fridge.” He sneered as he rose from lolling on Ed’s lap. 

“Seriously?” The runner-up cocked his head to the side, baffled at Shaun’s weak dare. A diabolical look plastered Shaun’s face.

_ “It’s soured.”  _ He adjoined. 

“Oh, you have to be  _ shitting _ me!” He scowled as he got himself up and traversed to the kitchen. 

“There’s not much left in the carton.” He said as he tried to make the dare more palatable. He heard the door to the fridge creek open and heard the sound of the plastic bottle cap come undone. 

“Bottoms up.” He said sarcastically. He tilted his head back, clasped his nose shut with his fingers, and doused the remaining milk. He swallowed heavily, and let go of his nose. The horrific taste of spoiled milk made this throat sting in displeasure. He felt his body immediately reject the liquid.

“I need to fucking wash my mouth.” He retched, roughly turning on the sink. He placed his head under the faucet and filled his mouth with cold water. Shaun went into stitches as he heard Ed gargle and spit water repeatedly into the sink to be rid of the horrific taste of rotten milk. 

“You good?” Shaun cried out. 

“I’m gonna go brush my teeth.” Ed puffed as he reeled himself to the bathroom.


	7. Two Can Keep A Secret

While scrubbing his teeth in the washroom, Ed felt frustrated at himself. 

_Damn it, Ed!_ He cursed. His teeth brushing became more vigorous. 

_At_ _this rate, you’ll_ never _confess to him. You know as well as he does that you’ll avoid asking for a truth. You might as well just flip things on its side now._ Soaking his mouth with water, Ed decided in that moment to be proactive and stop monologuing. Cleaning his face with his bare arm, he opened the door so roughly that it slammed the wall. 

“This shite’s getting boring, Shaun! The loser this match _has_ to tell a truthful statement. It has to be one of our deep, dark, _‘edgy,’_ ” Ed made quotation signs in the air using his fingers.

“Secrets that we’ve never told to anyone. _Not even to each other._ ” 

“Alrighty, challenge accepted!” Although Shaun answered with certainty, he dreaded to tell Ed that he loved him. He had no other “dark secrets” to share with Ed. He already knew that Shaun used to collect _Yu-Gi-Oh!_ cards and his failed career as a professional disc jockey. Ed’s playful abrasiveness softened as he maneuvered his way back to the couch. 

“It’s no pressure, really. I promise. You know I won’t judge.” He reassured Shaun tenderly. He leaned his head on Ed’s shoulder, making it clear that he wasn’t going to budge. 

“I won’t judge either.” Ed resumed the four player fighting game, reselecting Final Destination. This was the moment of truth. 

The two men started off incredibly close. Ness was able to swipe in a sharp blow before Marth could counter. Ed made a smacking noise with his teeth. 

“ _Now_ you decide to get good?” He goaded, cornering Ness and sending him off the ridge. Shaun clacked the buttons on the gaming peripheral as he implemented PK Thunder to recover. Like Icarus flying to the sun, Ed edgeguarded, dropping Ness out of view as Marth’s blade danced with ease. 

“Gotcha!” 

“That may be neat, but look at what percentage your character’s at,” Shaun forewarned. Ed glanced at the bottom portion of the screen. Marth was at sixty-nine percent. 

_“Nice.”_ He said in a deadpan voice. Shaun howled, uproariously stomping his feet on the ground. 

“That’s not what I _meant,_ you dirty bastard! I’m saying to watch out, because you’re ripe to be sent into orbit.” He elbowed his challenger. Ness was revived, but suffered the disadvantage of having two stocks, one less than Ed. 

“I respond the same way when you make April 20th jokes, just saying.” Ed refuted, dash-dancing yet again. In a reversal of fortune, Ed’s finger skidded across the A button, causing an attack input. 

_“No!”_ He squawked. Shaun used PK Fire to temporarily paralyze Marth, gripped him, and repeatedly pressed the A button to headbutt the assailant, finishing the combo off with a side throw. Ed’s first stock was lost, and the two housemates were tied. 

“I gotta give you more credit, Shaun. You’re quick at inputting attacks whenever you see a weak spot. A quick thinker!” Shaun praised his friend admirably. 

“That’s something I struggle with. I tend to hesitate and second guess myself.” As he completed his sentence he realized that he himself, has been apprehensive and doubtful of his own affections for Shaun. 

“You’re still more skilled at _Smash Bros._ than I’ll ever be.” Shaun remarked as he did his own broken version of dash-dancing, which was just him making Ness pace at a bigger distance. 

“But being quick-witted has its perks outside of video games. You saved my life during Z-Day ‘cuz of your enterprising spirit.” 

Shaun felt his eyes grow cloudy. His whole life he was convinced and told by others that he was useless. Ordinary. That he would _never_ amount to anything. Even though his late mother Barbara and stepfather Phillip promised him that he mattered and was wanted, he never knew that he needed to hear it from the man he loved the most. Not even Liz’s own reassurances to him felt as validating.

“You really mean that, Eddie?” He inquired, looking up to stare at him. He instinctively curled himself closer to Ed, tucking his legs in. 

“Why would I think otherwise?” He paused the game momentarily. 

“I’m just happy I heard it come out of your mouth.” Ed locked his hand with Shaun’s upon hearing his sincere answer. 

“C’mon, we still got two stocks remaining on both ends. Let’s see where this takes us!” Ed said, his voice a slightly higher range. He became increasingly nervous as he realized his chance of confessing to Shaun increased. He unpaused the video game and resumed fighting. 

“I hope it’s someplace good.”

* * *

At this point, Shaun’s skills were only a step behind Ed’s. He observed Ed’s strengths and weaknesses, using them to morph and modernize his play style as Ness. He took a low-tiered character and made him viable in his own way.

“Tryna one-up me?” Ed derided. Both characters were sparring on the edge of the hazardless battlefield. Ed was thrown for a loop as while both characters were suspended in midair, Shaun was able to spike Marth thanks to Ness’s down aerial attack. 

“Perhaps.” He answered cockily. Ed felt his hands grow extensively clammy. One more stock, and the floodgates would open. Once Marth re-emerged back onto the mystical battlegrounds, he slashed Ness swiftly, knocking him back with incredible gusto. Using the psychokinetic child’s long-ranged double jump, Shaun returned to the stage, damaging Marth with a forward aerial attack. Ed was hesitant to use his counterattack, because if he did it too soon, Marth would be left vulnerable.

The duo began to attack one another in near synchronized configurations. Ness’s punch attacks cancelled out Marth’s sword. Shaun briskly accomplished a dash attack, breaking the synchronization. Ness gripped Marth, leaving clearance for Shaun to use Ness’s up throw. Marth wheeled off the screen, a faded holler filling the television’s speaker. Shaun landed his first star-K.O. 

“Lucky bastard!” Ed grumbled. He felt his heart pounding up his throat as he was now at one stock. His eyes darted around the screen, waiting apprehensively for Marth to return.

He licked his lips as he clung onto the GameCube controller for dear life. The blue-haired man landed onto the platform and short hopped to Ness, swiftly slicing him with the Falchion. His blade danced as the swordsman trapped Ness in his fury of lunges. Sounds coming from the game were tuned out as Ed’s own montage of trigger-happy configurations cranked into motion. 

He wasn’t even paying attention to Shaun, who became increasingly excited and more confident in his playing. Ed’s attack spam was interrupted by Ness’s forward smash as the young man used his signature baseball bat to clobber Marth, propelling him to the far right of the stage. Ed was trapped in a daze, his heavy breathing inaudible to his ears. Marth stood there for a brief moment, completely unguarded.

Ness sprinted to his opponent and landed a heavy punch, followed by a kick. Clanking the right trigger on the controller, Ed put up a shield to temporarily nullify Ness’s attacks. Shaun, on the other hand, still continued to blow jabs. Marth’s shield grew smaller and smaller until the sound of a warbling bell brought Ed back to reality. Marth’s shield was broken, leaving him fleetingly stunned. Shaun drew in a breath, a brilliant idea influencing his hands. He took a few steps back as Marth’s stunned animation began to repeat. 

_I hope this works._

He pressed the B button on the controller, summoning PK Flash one more time. The plasma beam slowly moved and grew larger as it approached Marth, and suddenly shrank. Half a second later, the light detonated, sending the warrior upwards to the front of the screen, hitting the wall, and slowly sinking downward.

Ed lost all of his stocks, and like water flowing out of a bottle, his sweat-coated controller slipped out of his hands onto his lap. 

“Holy. Shit. That was the best match of _Melee_ we’ve had!” Shaun cheered. 

“I guess I have to tell you my secret now.” Ed sulked. 

“What’s the matter, Ed?”

“Flash,” he nervously rubbed his thumb and index finger together. He rarely used that nickname for him. 

“I… really don’t know what’s going to become of us after telling you this, and I— _I’m absolutely horrified._ ” he stammered. 

“C’mon, Ed. There’s no judgment here. I promise.” He placed his hand on the nervous man’s leg, focusing on him inquisitively. 

_Here goes nothing._

“You know how I told you ‘ _Je passerais ma vie avec toi, Shaun?’_ ” Ed’s French was nearly flawless this time, nailing the accent and pronunciations. 

“Yeah, you said that it meant I was fantastic.”

“Shaun… That’s not what it actually means.” Ed’s voice was hushed. 

_“Oh.”_

Ed felt his stomach drop hearing Shaun’s response. He could tell he was hurt, and feared that he thought that he was insulting him. 

“What I actually said…” he went forward, fighting back the doubts plaguing his mind. “was that I would spend my life with you.” He took Shaun’s thin hand and placed it over his own.

_“I’m in love with you, Shaun. And I have been since we were in grade nine. I wanted to tell you this on Z-Day because I thought we would never see one another again. I was petrified and just wanted the two of us to just stay alive. I never wanted to let you out of my sight and wanted to stay by your side until the end of that day. Z-Day may be a thing of the past, but my loyalty to you is infinite.”_ Upon hearing this, tears welled up in Shaun’s eyes. 

“Edward…” he sniffled. The love interests’ gazes were locked on, both with a glow in their eyes that knew things things would be different in the best way possible; the chapter of their new lives unfolding right in front of them 

“I love you too. For the longest _goddamn_ time.”

Ed clasped his hands with Shaun’s. 

“Really?” They were still both staring at one another. 

_“I think Liz and I both knew that it wasn’t meant to be, and that’s why we eventually broke up.”_ He sobbed, tears flowing down his face. 

_“Even though I was with her for three years, things just didn’t feel right. Doing affectionate shite with her was okay… But it always felt better when I did it with_ you! _”_ Shaun, red-eyed and lachrymose, continued to weep in joy.

“Please don’t cry, Shaun.” Ed murmured. Using his hands, he delicately wiped away the tears from Shaun’s face. 

“I just need a hug from you.” The crying man fell into Ed’s arms, embracing his lover. 

“You know I’ll always provide, love.” Ed responded positively. Shaun’s crying immediately ceased after hugging Ed. To Shaun, Ed radiated infinite happiness and unyielding love, never growing sick of it. 

“You okay now?” Ed asked tenderheartedly.

“Better than ever.” The warble in his voice lessened. 

“Lemme get you a glass of water.” Ed compassionately said aloud. 

“No, don’t get up,” Shaun persuaded, echoing Ed’s comments this morning. 

“The soda on the coffee table’s fine.” 

“Fair enough.” Ed traced Shaun’s back with his hands. A low cacophony of laughter emitted from the newfound couple. 

“I… kind of want to kiss you.” Shaun stated obviously, placing his hand on the right side of Ed’s face. 

“Me too. But who—“ 

“Let’s play another match to see who gets to make the first move!” Shaun interjected animatedly. 

“I like the way you think.” 

“How’s Poké Floats?” Shaun’s suggestion shifted the intense friendly competition back to casual play. 

“Perfect.”


	8. This Must Be The Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter named after the titular song by Talking Heads.

“Did you know this stage is banned in competitive play?” Ed informed, playing  _ Melee _ while laying on his back. Shaun was resting on his chest, albeit holding the controller in an awkward position. 

“I didn’t know that, but I can see why!” Shaun, still using Ness, caught Ed’s character into a combo. Ed changed his character to his Nintendo 64  _ Smash Bros. _ main, Captain Falcon. 

“I see that you’ve returned back to the classics,” Shaun cooed. 

“It’s to commemorate our new relationship!” He assaulted Ness with a Falcon Kick. Ed desperately wanted to kiss Shaun, even though he never kissed anyone before. Shaun wanted to kiss Ed right then and there and had plenty of experience with kissing due to his long-time relationship with Liz. Little did Ed know was that Shaun was going to lose on  _ purpose _ so Ed could kiss him first. A wholesomely fiendish prank that Ed would  _ never _ expect. 

Instead of edgeguarding and preventing Falcon from recovering, he let him reach the floating, traveling platforms. He followed up with a ledge attack, sending Ness flying on the opposite side of the screen. Although there was an opening for Ness to recover, he made a calculated misfire of PK Thunder, reducing a stock. 

“Got butterfingers, huh Riley?”

“Don’t ignore that you almost fell off the stage because of a failed Falcon Punch, you _twat._ ” The lovers bantered. 

“The last time I used Captain Falcon was when we were still kids, cut me some slack!” Ed trapped Ness into another spurt of chain grabs. 

“Gotcha!” Shaun pursed his lips at Ed’s cheap playing. 

“How about  _ this _ ?” He freed the boy from the bounty hunter’s clutches and ambushed him with bursts of fire. The heavily accented cries of _“PK Fire!”_ flooded the speakers. Ed’s mouth widened as a gasp was the only way he could express his shock. 

“Pulling the oldest trick in the book,  _ ye fuckin’ cunt!  _ Don’t make me kiss you before the match even finishes.” He said in faux disappointment. Shaun’s face was red as a tomato upon hearing Ed’s taunting. 

“Not unless I do it first, but remember—”

“We play  _ fair. _ ” They enunciated altogether. He pressed Ed’s nose with his finger, causing him to chitter riotously. They were so immersed in moment of affection that the Snorlax shaped balloon, with Falcon and Ness in it, went off screen, reducing lives on both ends. 

“Pfft. Let’s pretend that didn’t happen.” Ed remarked, dropping Captain Falcon down on a stray Wooper balloon. Ness followed, but Falcon ascended to a Squirtle parade float. 

_ “Come and catch meeee…” _ he bellowed. 

“Bollocks. Now I know why this stage was banned. You can camp!” Shaun tapped his forehead, dumbfounded. 

“Precisely.” Ness was able to tailgate Captain Falcon and kicked him forcibly. Shaun continued to spam Ness’s neutral A attacks until Ed caught him in another grab, tossing him off the cute balloon. Tilting the control stick to move Ness midair, he double-jumped back onto the adorable balloon. 

“Ness is like a ball,” Shaun said intriguingly, loosely holding the controller as he watched Captain Falcon do what Captain Falcon does best. There was an awkward silence after Shaun’s joke derailed. 

“Shaun, I love you, I really do, and I’m in heaven just from cuddling with you and playing video games, but what in the goddamn  _ fuck _ does that mean?” Ed squalled irrationally. 

“Did you find one of those old, crumbly pot brownies in the pantry?” 

“He always—” He slickly stomped on Captain Falcon with Ness’s down aerial. He ignored Ed’s overzealous allegation. 

“bounces—” Ed frantically tapped the controller buttons, inflicting more damage onto his opponent only for it to be lessened by Ness’s shield. In the heat of Ed’s off the walls reaction to Shaun’s cheesy joke, the psychic boy’s shield broke. 

“Holy  _ shit! _ ” Ed yowled as he pressed down the B button. As Ness attempted to break free from his confusion, a fiery wave blew his face into smithereens, catapulting Ness off screen. 

“back.” 

Ed triumphantly defeated Shaun using Falcon’s signature move, the Falcon Punch. Shaun eagerly stretched his arm out to nab the television controller and shut off the TV. Ed gazed into the loser’s eyes, shaking his head in a fabricated displeasure. 

* * *

Shaun began to giggle like he just woke up from a dental procedure, still drugged up from laughing gas. The controller slipped out of his hand, dropping onto the rug with a bump. He readjusted himself back to using Ed’s torso as a pillow, hugging him tightly. 

“You lost on purpose, didn’t you?” Shaun’s laughter noticeably stopped upon listening to Ed’s wooing. He caught onto Shaun’s ruse, his low and husky, obviously Londoner voice further making Shaun completely scarlet and smitten. 

“Maybe. But—” Ed placed his index finger over Shaun’s lips. 

“Shhh,” With his finger still on his boyfriend’s mouth, he put down the controller gently onto the coffee table. He moved his finger and brought his entire left hand to one side of Shaun’s face involuntarily. As he did this though, his hand visibly trembled. 

_ I hope he didn’t see that, that’s bloody humiliating… _ He gulped. Shaun only smiled. No judgment here. His breathing began to deepen as he began to digest that he was about to kiss Shaun. 

_ Holy fuck, am I really doing this? _ His mind echoed. 

“You smell really nice, Eddie.” Shaun suspired, setting his arms on his beloved’s shoulders. 

“Th-thanks.”

“Laying on you makes me feel like I’m in a bamboo forest,” Shaun said dreamily, continuing to compliment Ed’s smell. 

“With twilight of the moon illuminating the trees, too?” Ed contributed as his right hand slowly brushed against Shaun’s neck, moving higher and higher until it reached his other cheek. Chills ran down the strawberry blond’s spine. 

“Yeah,” Shaun answered, running a hand through Ed’s brunette hair. It became messier after the intense matches of  _ Melee,  _ but of course, Shaun didn’t care. Although looking composed, Shaun froze in his place. 

_I didn’t brush my teeth after eating! My breath probably smells. Fuck, shit, piss, ass!_ He swore.

During his frantic soliloquy, Ed leaned his head forward. He didn’t know how to follow up with a kiss, though. He pivoted his head to the side, but slowly went back to observing Shaun directly in the eye. Ed felt himself start to perspire, for he was progressively losing his cool. His eyes darted around the room aimlessly as he tried to figure something out. Shaun saw it as the most endearing thing, and placed a guiding hand onto his face, carefully moving his partner’s head to the optimal kissing position. He smiled ear to ear at Shaun’s assistance, and moved his right hand under Shaun’s chin, elevating his head slightly. Ed’s lips began to tremble slightly as he slowly approached Shaun’s. Closing his eyes, he expected his lips to make contact with Shaun’s, sealing their closeness as the floodgates of romantic tension opened, but heard a very sudden, unpleasant grunt. 

They bumped noses by accident. 

Ed’s eyes shot open, his own face a bright crimson. Without effort, he began to cackle, with Shaun following suit. The light-haired man, still laughing from his belly, was hushed by Ed’s lips making direct contact with his. Shaun’s mouth and red-hot face was cooled by the taste of Ed’s toothpaste and mouthwash—cinnamon. His body instantly relaxed, melting into Ed’s arms, kissing him back as he clasped his hands onto his partner’s face. Like a tennis match, their smooching went back and forth. To differentiate things, Ed parted his lips from Shaun’s to kiss him on the cheek in succession. It was only until Ed ceased kissing Shaun to catch his breath that any words were said.

“You’re a bloody good kisser for someone who’s never done it before.” Shaun gasped, unfathomably impressed. He unforeseenly entered a fit of giggles as Ed’s gingerly pecked his cheek. His kisses descended from Shaun’s face all the way to his neck. Shaun felt his body burn up in titillation because of Ed’s featherweight smooches. 

“Should I do it more often then?” He requested suggestively, locking his eyes onto Shaun’s. 

“Fuck yeah!” Shaun tittered. 

“I’ll save those ‘special’ kisses for another time.” Ed winked. 

Cradled in his arms, Shaun nuzzled Ed’s chest as he grew fatigued. The salesman looked peaceful, visibly breathing deeply as he relished in Ed’s familiar scent. The heavy-set retail worker was suddenly hit with the reality that he was in a committed relationship with the man he loved more than anything else in the world. Tears streamed down his eyes as he began to sob. 

“What’s wrong, Eddie?” Shaun looked up, panicked.

“Nothing. I’m—I’m just so glad to have the love of my life here with me. This is the place I’ve wanted to be, for as long as I can remember.” He sniffled. 

_“Please stay with me, Shaun Riley.”_

His voice was like a pin drop. Shaun leaned his forehead against Ed’s, staring at him with the same look of vulnerability when they rode out the apocalyptic storm of Z-Day.

“I will, baby. I will.” His voice quavered while sweeping away Ed’s tears. 

_“I was there protecting you during the worst of Z-Day, ready to sacrifice my own life to save yours. I could never leave you then, and I could never leave you now.”_

“Shaun, _mon petit-chou fleur…”_ he spoke, delighted. Shaun’s heart sang as he relished in his new pet name. He had no idea what it meant, but it didn’t matter to him. All that mattered was it brought him inexhaustible joy, much like Ed himself. With the common sense that _‘mon’_ was the French equivalent to _‘my,’_ he posed a question. 

“What is it, _mi corazón?”_

“I… want to cook dinner tonight.” Ed proposed timidly.

“It’s not that late, so we don’t have to get up now. We can just relax and cuddle.”

“What do you have in mind, babe?” Shaun wondered.

“Japanese-style vegetable curry with rice.” 

“Ah, is that what those boxes of bouillon in the pantry closet were for?” Shaun perked up. 

“Yeah! It’s curry roux, by the way, but it’s pretty comparable to bouillon. Wanted to make beef curry but the meat would’ve been a pain in the arse to defrost. You don’t have an issue with that, right?” The last sentence was stated with concern. 

Shaun kissed Ed’s nose, soothing him. 

“Of course not! Just let me help you cut the vegetables. Knowing how clumsy you are, I don’t want you to cut your fingers.” 

Ed was in stitches over Shaun’s motherly overprotectiveness, and upon hearing himself speak, Shaun laughed with him. 

The lovers, who before this fateful afternoon expressed their affection under the guise of friendship, had their whole future ahead of them to engage in a fulfilling, domestic life. Nothing could break them apart. Not even a potentially disastrous dinner. All they had was themselves, now traversing the world as one. 

Nothing could ever be as sweet or as euphoric as that alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos are very much appreciated. This fanfiction was definitely a labor of love. 
> 
> I didn’t expect to enjoy Shaun of the Dead as much as I do now. There’s something about Shaun and Ed being together romantically that makes my heart sing. I think it’s because they’re average, middle-aged men who to onlookers are losers, but interpersonally uplift one another/enhance each other’s lives. Something about losers in love. I guess it’s because this is the kind of domestic crap that reminds me of how wonderful healthy romantic relationships can be.


End file.
